


Body Love

by enbyinaband



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Acceptance, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Comfort, Comfort Food, Dehydration, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heart-to-Heart, Heat Stroke, Hiking, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mad Libs, Morning Cuddles, Paranoia, Recovery, Scars, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-23 18:13:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19706785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enbyinaband/pseuds/enbyinaband
Summary: If you enjoyed this fuc, please tip!:PayPal.me/MordecaiRussell





	Body Love

Not even Florida's unpredictable forecast that held humidity no matter the weather could get Virgil to stop wearing his notorious, heavy hoodie. He was well aware of the danger he posed to himself, the array of scars lined along his forearms and thighs being enough proof; he did not currently practice this unhealthy coping mechanism, yet an unforeseen relapse was inevitable.

_It'd be so easy to grab a kitchen knife and drag it across your throat… Now that'll leave an impression._

"Stop it, Remus!" he shouted, fingers diving through short-kept hair as palms pressed into his scalp, "Stop using your power on me…"

"I'm not?"

"Don't lie to me!"

"Dee isn't here. I don't have any reason to."

"I just want it all to stop…"

Fully aware of the older Dark Side watching him in concern the anxious one could not be bothered by the staring, for he was imprisoned in a never-ending hellscape. What did that mean for Thomas? He was hurting Thomas wasn't he? It was just like old times…

"Virgil, dear, come sit with me."

"I-I should go…"

"Virgil, come now," the Duke repeated with a more demanding tone only used in certain situations, lightening again when he was joined on the couch, their knees bumping clumsily, "You need not be alone."

"Wouldn't it be better that way?"

"Nope! Give me a number, please."

"Huh? Oh right… Seven?"

"Quite concerning… You know who could help with that?"

"I don't want to bother anyone, Ree. Can we do something to take my mind off it?"

"Well, I was working on a Mad Libs prompt if you want to help."

"Sure. What's it 'bout?"

"Dragons!" 

Virgil could not help the slight smirk on his lips at hearing a high-pitched voice of delight; while Remus was the polar opposite of his twin, the two halves of creativity shared some traits whether they were aware or not. Together they created a short bit of prose, the Duke doodling dicks in the margin while the embodiment of anxiety gave out answers to fill in the blanks, allowing himself to rest against a ruffled shoulder pad, his mind coming to a quiet, dull hum.

"Three adjectives?"

"Gloomy, macabre, and depressing."

"Here we go!: 'The Green Dragon is the youngest dragon of all. It has rambunctious ears, and a foot shaped like a tuba. It loves to eat squids, although it will feast on nearly anything. It is gloomy and macabre. You must be depressing around it, or you may end up as its meal!'"

"How delightful," an added voice remarked after apparating as he dusted off a charcoal petticoat, "Entertaining each other?"

"You bet. Wanna join?"

"Don't want to interrupt." Deceit remarked, flopping into the Duke's lap dramatically.

"Hard day?"

"Not at all. Just another day of hiding some hard truths from Thomas."

A yellow gloved hand grasping his own, shaky one only unsettled him further: the master of deception was fully aware of what was being kept close to the chest. While the contact from both men kept him grounded to reality, he wanted so badly to be alone without being a danger to himself instead of being a bother especially since Deceit's day was not going as planned, "I… should go."

"Virgil, stay with us."

"No, I mean I'm being summoned."

"We just got our happy few back!," Remus whined pitifully, kicking his feet out in a childish manner that got a chortle from the others, "We'll be here waiting for your return."

"You know we'll end up going with Thomas wherever he goes."

"Not like we're openly invited…,"

Pushing past the pity party that was inevitable with either of the Creativity Twins, Virgil disappeared to arrive at the landing of a set of stairs, groaning at the sudden change in temperature. While Deceit needed it he leeched heat from the others, which gave a somewhat believable excuse to be clingy, trying not to let it bother him since it seemed that everyone else was ready to leave.

"Wait, are we not filming today?"

"We've been cooped up all week," Logan interjected before their host could answer, "It's essential to get as much natural vitamin D as possible and take needed breaks."

"Well, let's get goin' then."

"Don't you want to take off your hoodie? Overheating can cause many health risks-"

"I'll be fine." 

"Will you at least change into shorts?" Patton asked, wanting to protect his best friend, "Y'know I worry."

"If it'll help."

Conjuring a pair of loose fitting knee length bottoms to replace usual black, ripped skinny jeans the anxious one tried not to let the loss of comfortable clothing be seen as anything other than desperation. Flushing faintly at the quadruple pair of eyes staring directly into his barely existent soul, Virgil gave an awkward thumbs up to signal that he was prepared like everyone else.

Not wanting to argue anymore the group set out for the nearest hiking trail where the reward for finishing would be spending the afternoon in the lake. Already drawn to the water he reluctantly followed at the rear, not quite trusting himself as thoughts spiraled out of control once they were on elevated ground. Oh, how easy it would be to trip and make it look like an accident…

"Not so fast," a familiar, whimsical voice broke through, hip wiggle bumping against his own to get away from the siren song the void was, "Can't let you do that."

"Why not? You love this kinda Insanity."

"I'm not in control of what's goin' on, I'd never push you to attempt… you-know-what."

"That's alarming…" he mused, arm linked around a tight-fitting sleeve without hesitation, "Where's Dee?"

"Basking on a rock somewhere, we'll see him later."

"Bro, what're you doing here?!" Roman interrupted, sword awkwardly drawn between an opened water bottle.

"Last I checked I'm one of Thomas' sides too."

"You don't need to be here!"

"I can assure you that I do, for Virgil's sake if any."

"What…?"

"Please Ro, just listen for once."

"...Fine, you can stay Dukey."

Clearly content with being allowed to tag along Remus continued to escort the embodiment of anxiety, helping him over low hanging branches and sharp, protruding rocks. Virgil was quite surprised that such a hyper personality had the ability to remain calm, gentle even, and that reminded him exactly why he could not cut ties with the others; they were familiar. Trying so hard not to wander back into an unknown state of mind, burning lungs kept him being completely blindsided by sudden urges, nails further digging into thin fabric before he was pulled into a curled lap when they found a resting spot.

"How's everyone doing?" Thomas questioned, trying to cover repulsion at seeing Remus again.

"Fine," Virgil muttered along with everyone else as he grabbed at a pack of offered peanut butter crackers, nose wrinkling at an opened deodorant dispenser, "No thanks, Ree."

"More for me then!"

"You need to eat actual food."

"I've been trying to make him do that for years, Emo Nightmare."

"Roman…"

"I'm just saying he's not so easy to reason with," the prince stated with an outlandish shrug, blinking rapidly at seeing his brother take a piece of cracker from between chipped, polished nails, "Well, you might have a better chance it seems."

"Guess so."

Absentmindedly, covered wrists were rubbed at as he listened to the light wind whistling through a thick canopy above them gave Virgil's mind a bit of reprieve. If only this moment could reflect his state of mind for more than two minutes at a time, trying hard to enjoy the scenery with as much clarity as possible. It would be so easy to ask Remus to take away the eerie ideations, yet he was too hardcore to show a sensitive soul even if it would lead to some relief.

"Virge, c'mon."

"I don't wanna leave yet."

"Not even to go see our scaly boy?"

Whiplash caused for a slight migraine to press into his temple, steadied by the same arm wrapped protectively around his waist. Ignoring the pressure against his skull, the anxious one could not continue to hide labored breathing, sweat pouring down in steady streams down reddened cheeks as they descended from the steep climb, caught off guard when a cardigan clad chest replaced rough ruffles.

"What the fu-?!!"

"Take your hoodie off, please. I can't stand seeing you be uncomfy!"

"You won't like what you'll see, Pat…"

"Nothing bad will happen, kiddo."

Aware once again of the stares Virgil was ready to shut down, hesitating to remove the added layer when a padded hand patted at a hunched shoulder, sucking in a sharp breath at having to reveal such an ugly truth. He felt more exposed than when his partners had spent their first romantic evening together, immediately folding into Deceit's arms when audible gasps punctuated the serene atmosphere. When was the line drawn, when the knife hits the skin? A little too late, Virgil thought. Isn't it the same as purging because he was so obsessed with death?

"Virgil, love, breathe…" the master of deception directed, letting out a warning hiss over his shoulder as splashes of water drenched his plain, black shirt, "Ree, now's not the time."

"I'm sorry I couldn't be stronger. I didn't want any of you to be disappointed 'specially you, Patton."

"None of us are, Virgil," Logan remarked, readjusting his glasses as he straightened up from studying an insect, "The fact that you're still here us enough for us. None of those scars are fresh, correct?"

"No, but I'm not far into my recovery. I've almost cut again…"

"Any progress is enough. Your body deserves more than to be war-torn."

"You're not disgusted? Repulsed?"

"No, that's not how we show support."

"Lo…"

"Now, why don't we get you in the shade? There's a nice spot close enough to where you can soak your feet."

"That sounds absolutely lovely, that way I can keep an eye on Remus."

"Let me deal with the Duke," the serpent remarked, helping Logan relocate the younger one, "You deserve a break from everything."

"I, uh, do…" Virgil agreed, resting a pale cheek onto Deceit's chest as uncovered feet slipped into the chilling water, "Sorry to ruin the mood."

"You didn't ruin anything, promise."

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this fuc, please tip!:  
> PayPal.me/MordecaiRussell


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